65 My Final Weekly Blog Message (There will be random ones following this but they will not be regularly scheduled.)

Writing is‎ not really my thing.  I have done a lot of writing as I finished my graduation requirements for my PhD in psychology few years ago yet, I still wouldn't call myself a writer.  However, when you have something you need to say, you find way to say it.  For me, right now even though I don't call myself a writer I merely have something I feel God wants me to say which is the reason I have been writing these blogs.

‎ His love and concern for those He has created can be summed up with these simple words – God loves you.  Even this does not seem enough.  I am trying to share my heart and journey with you and hope you will take the opportunity you have in life right now to correct everything between you and the Creator of Life.

I am try to explain my journey with my Saviour and Creator to help you see how much HE gave when he died on the cross and gave His life for you and me simply because HE loves us all so very much.

This experience I am trying to talk about is beyond my understanding and way beyond my little brains ability to handle, PHD or not, but I know it is true because God will never lie about anything.
I do not know of any word that comes close to telling you how much God has done for me in my life.
All of us that live here on this earth will make mistakes and continues to make mistakes.  There is a way out for us.  That way is God and believing in His Son and that He died on the Cross for you and me.  We can ask for forgiveness and we have an opportunity to get our heart right with God now while we are still on this earth.

When I stop and look at my life and the mistakes I have hade and the nonsense I have put Him through and the failure I have been I do not understand why He is so patient and merciful with me.
Since this blog began there are a number of people who continue to tell me they are blessed by the writing.

This is why I write. It's not for my benefit.  It is to Glorify my God and to encourage you and your walk with Him.

I am an English teacher, but don’t judge my grammar, instead look at God's thoughts. It all about Him and nothing about me. Read His thoughts, not my English in case even as an English teacher, I still mess up. I'm not trying to be the perfect English teacher with this writing and Blog, I just went to be a tool for the Lord of what he can do with this heart.  I'll get the language thing down one day. If you are reading this please don't judge the school system for hiring either, my head might not have it all together as time moves forward. I'm not sure I have gotten the grammar correct.

Billy Graham who recently went to his home in heaven, before he died, said “We all die.  I don’t want to escape it I want to go.”

My help comes from you.

By Casting Crowns

This song played Monday as I lay in the MRI machine waiting for the test to run, I was trying anything to entertain myself until the time would pass by and we could move on to the next step.

The doctor told me that the cancer in my brain was growing aggressively and chemo was not helping, more radiation was out of the question and surgery was not a possibility because there were too many spots growing.
Probably around two months from now and my body will likely begin shutting down.

Then, the next step is to wait on God's loving arms to welcome me home for eternity.
Thanks for the walking this journey with me through your thoughts and prayers.

 Please continue those prayers for me and my family as we take the rest of the journey with God's grace and help.

Until such a time, please take a moment to see how your heart matches our God’s heart as He uses life and people to influence us towards Him.

I will write more as I am able to with no promises of how long they will be or often they will come.
At least that is what I have to say for now.  Unless He tells me to write about another experience in life.  So, check back. We are Never done until He walks us through that last breath.
‎Love you all dearly, although never as much as our Creator does.

Addendum (from Dad)
I definitely am not a writer but I want to add a couple of comments.

The first comment I want to add is about something in Debbie’s last blog about her walking in to the office at Moffitt.  When she would ride the wheel chair in she would always get a yellow band on her arm.  She was so determined to go in without that DUMB YELLOW band that we worked for at least two weeks to prepare to enter Moffitt without the yellow band.  We walk about 500 feet to the stop sign and back.  A total of about 1,000 feet.  This 1,000 feet would take her from 50 minutes to 1 hour and 20 minutes depending how she was feeling that particular day. The day at Moffitt came and she walked in to the doctor’s office and when we told him he looked around looking for the wheelchair.  He did not think she could have done it.  She fulfilled her goal that day.  Praise God for helping her accomplish it.

This past Monday when we finished they told her she did not need to come back in to Moffitt.  There is nothing they can do.
As we were leaving Moffitt Debbie said, “The first time I came in here I rode the wheel chair in.  As I leave this last time I want to WALK out.”  And she did.  It took a while but she walked out all the way to the car.

She did not want to do the blog in the beginning because she did not want people felling sorry for her.  We talked about it so that people would know how to pray specifically for her instead of generically praying.  She wants so much to honor and glorify her Lord and Savior.

Pray for her and us – her family.

64 WHY EVEN WRITE THESE BLOGS??

Because There is something really important I want you to know about.

My team so to speak, apart from the Lord, is made up of my parents, my brothers and friends here in the states and around the world. The people who every week from my church send a get-well card, which you have no idea how that feels each time it comes in the mail. I know it's a simple thing, but it really means a lot.

Then there is Sophie who is my napping partner and occasionally, my therapist both mentally and physically in that she seems to know in her own little way what I need at that moment. God seems to just know what I need and when I need it and that's exactly why He sends to me in that moment: a card, a dog, a smile from a friend at church, the young girl I met a few years ago who comes from another country, adopted by my pastor and his wife - it’s always just exactly what I need and when I need it, in each particular incident. How does God know me so well?

HE is able to know me that well because He loves me that much. He sent His Son to pay the debt for my sins, if you have no idea what I'm talking about find a Bible and start reading in the section called John. Begin with chapter 3, and verse 16. I have copied it below for you. If you have trouble understanding what it's talking about, find one of your friends who you are sure is a Christian and they can likely explain it to you. Or you can always, of course, just read it. God has a way of helping us humans to make sense of things we might not normally understand.

Here are the basics. It started with the sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden at the beginning of time. Because God loves humans like you and me so very much that several years later, God sent His Son, Jesus, to be born, live and do some miracles while on this earth, then, eventually die, for the sins of everyone in this world, past, present and future, including millions of people whom I have never nor will ever meet, from so many countries. If you get nothing else from any of these posts, please get this: God loves you and me enough to let this world crucify His only Son on a horrible cross many years ago.

Now I know what I have been talking about is not politically correct. However, it isn’t if I am politically correct or not - it's what I believe and what gets me out of bed when the days get long and hard. So the next time you see me the smile may not be on my face. Keep in mind it's not God's fault, it's more likely I'm just having a hard day and have started feeling sorry for myself in the face of this battle I face one day. So, hang in there with me while I share something of a prayer request I need you to pray with me about. We're talking to Almighty God about it.

If you get nothing else from these blogs. Get this, God loves all of us so much. He gave up his own Son for you and me to have the opportunity to spend eternity with Him in Heaven, if we choose to. I made that choice when I was 6 years old. You are never too old or in too much trouble with your mistakes in life.

Find someone who could help you find John 3:16 and start reading. It will be the best thing you have read in a while. It can change your life. It has mine. This is how I get up from day to day. It's only by HIS strength and the hope of what comes. Especially after this body says enough and more importantly when God says, it's time to come home. My eternal home is in heaven. That is how I go from one day to the next, despite an occasional melt down, not because I am afraid of the future, maybe it's just more because I may be afraid of the here and now.

It's the only way I can get up morning after morning. It's like today, following a rough night. I should be getting up. Guess I am waiting to see how I can best honor the Lord today.

How about with everything inside of me to just praise Him for a new day of life and breath.

We so often pray for God’s healing in a person’s life. However, what if I can do more for God, walking this path and in His timing, eventually, going “Home to HIM”?

There are certainly days my heart needs to be more lined up with my Creator.

It doesn’t matter my circumstances, God is still good and Loves me,

PRAISES:

Physical/emotional strength for each difficult day.

My trips to the stop sign at the end of the road are still “Painfully” slow in many people’s eyes. However, they are getting better, and I WILL continue to make them as long as my body will stick to it with me.

PRAYER REQUESTS: (I realize I keep posting the same requests, but they are still relevant/needed. So, I’ll continue posting them, but I’ll try to add a marker if it’s something new. No promises that I’ll remember to do that every time.)

- Extra fatigue from medication and other changes in how my body responds to treatment and changes. So please pray for extra strength on a daily basis.

- Continued strength to manage the physical strain of some of the treatment and exercises to improve mobility.

- Courage to face the unknown and opportunities to show the grace of God through difficult times.

- Safety.

Family who are hanging in there with me through this battle. Wisdom to know my limitations and observe them.

- Next MRI and doctor visit March 15:

Thank you, Father, for another day today and for Your constant emotional/physical/spiritual provisions. I pray my life does honor You today.

Praise Him! again for His safety and for His strength I’m still try that walking thing again soon. I’ll get back to you when I have more to report



NOTE: This is not Debbie giving up, I just want you to know why I send these entries out. My battle is not over until God takes me home at His perfect timing. Until then my battle continues with God’s help, even in the midst of a bad day or moment. So, don’t take my tears as necessarily frustration with God. It may be frustration with my circumstance or it might simply be my annoyance with myself that I don’t serve Him better for all He does for me. This is also an opportunity to share my faith with a much larger group of people than I could have if life had never changed for me. So why write??

Because I can.

Yesu anipenda (probably the first thing I ever learned in Kiswahili – the language used in Kenya, which I grew up with).

Here’s a song that is a group of kids singing the above-mentioned song and I thought they did a fantastic job singing what this blog is all about. It’s one of the first songs, I think I ever remember learning in English and Kiswahili. I thought this group did a fantastic job and, perhaps it also could take you back to younger days when you might have been part of a children’s program at church/school.

63 EVEN IN THE VALLEY, GOD IS GOOD

“Am I more interested in the healing, or the healer??”

I saw a beautiful video on the internet the other day from another individual who is also dealing with a GBM.  He made this statement: “Am I more interested in the healing, or the healer??”  I cannot take credit for that thought.  It’s all this gentleman’s, but I thought it was a good one so I’m passing it on.
We so often pray for God’s healing in a person’s life.  However, what if I can do more for God, walking this path and in His timing, eventually, going “Home to HIM”?

Until such time as He lets me know what’s next and when, I’ll just keep fighting on one day at a time.

UPDATE JUST FROM MY HEART TO YOURS.

 I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time these days which could be a good thing.   It takes too much energy and concentration to just lift my left foot and stay balanced.  So I laughed at myself the other day, which is an important place to be emotionally, laugh at yourself.  There are enough things in life that are hard, so laugh when you can, even if it’s about yourself.  That is still a process God continues working in my heart.  Maybe if I would keep my mouth shut more when it should be I could get further down the road towards that stop sign, saying only what really needs to be said.  Could that be true at other times as well as today? 

When I was in college, I played in the college band.  We did at times use instruments you would normally see only in an orchestra.  I played in the percussion section most of the time.  That's one of the most diverse parts. Today it may be a snare drum, while the next song could have you playing some other instrument of the same general type.  At any rate it was fun, as long as everyone was in tune and rhythm.  Start out early on one of those drums like timpani, which you actually tune (sometimes in the middle of the piece), or let a drummer come in out of rhythm or if one of the players doesn’t play the correct note at the correct time, then it does not sound so good, no matter how good the conductor is.  I hope I am following along with the Conductor as He leads me through
the next step.

I also enjoyed the time our professor gave all the graduating seniors the opportunity to conduct one of the pieces.  I was nervous but it was a great opportunity I look back on the with good memories, even though I was quite nervous.
There are certainly days my heart needs to be more in tune with the Conductor.
Here’s a song that encouraged me a lot this week.  Thanks to my wonderful friend for sharing.

It doesn’t matter my circumstances, God is still good.


Psalm 150 –This psalm was in my heart this week as well.

Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

PRAISES: 

When life throws you something you weren't expecting, “make lemonade” or something else you enjoy.  I am on disability right now.  That means I would normally have been working on a day like this past Tuesday when my church had a special ladies luncheon as part of our mission’s conference.  In previous years I wouldn't have been able to enjoy such a day because of work.   However, because things have changed for me and I was feeling well I was able to enjoy something special.  I was able to enjoy a day at my church in the middle of the week.  I had prayed God would give me strength for the day to enjoy something special and He did just that.  It was a great day, very encouraging and nice to get out with my church family and friends and my Mom who joined me for the day.  So, while I am on disability, I enjoyed a day out with some VERY special people.  AND the meeting was far from sour lemonade, it was so encouraging and enjoyable.

Physical/emotional strength for each difficult day.

**Lessons God continues to bring my way about Himself, me, others around me and life in general.

My trips to the stop sign at the end of the road are still “Painfully” slow in many people’s eyes.  However, they are getting better, and I WILL continue to make them as long as my body will stick to it with me.

PRAYER REQUESTS: (I realize I keep posting the same requests, but they are still relevant/needed.  So, I’ll continue posting them, but I’ll try to add a marker if it’s something new.  No promises that I’ll remember to do that every time.)

Extra fatigue from medication and other changes in how my body responds to treatment and changes.  So please pray for extra strength on a daily basis.

Continued strength to manage the physical strain of some of the treatment and exercises to improve mobility.

Courage to face the unknown and opportunities to show the grace of God through difficult times.

Safety.

Family who are hanging in there with me through this battle.  Wisdom to know my limitations and observe them.

Next MRI and doctor visit March 15:

You may have noticed my writing may jump around a little sometimes.  So, if I’m talking one minute about the night hours, it might be because a thought came to me in the night, then the following day, I’ll put it together with other thoughts.  So, if it seems like my thoughts are jumping around, it’s because the time in which I write may have changed from 4am to 9am.

Life is HARD but God is good. Now to try and catch up on some more sleep for the night.   I’ll stop for now with the following:

The other day we were sitting around chatting about giving something a good effort. My dad said he gave the grass a quick cutting.  He said he gave it a “lick and a promise”.  In other words, he gave it an effort just not a solid effort.  I always learn new sayings around my parents – so many wise or sometimes humorous sayings.  I also remember a saying from a classic children's movie that included a talking baby deer who spoke with other animals in the movie. One of the other characters was a small rabbit who says. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.”  Why can't we remember that and be a little nicer sometimes? 

Another confession about life these days (I may have already told you this story but in case you missed it):

On the rare occasion that I do go out to the store these days (I tend to save my energy for walks to the stop sign or other events like the event at church).  I use a motorized shopping cart.  I'm doing this entire movement of driving with only my right hand (since the left one doesn’t work so well).  So, if my phone rings or for some other reason I have to stop, it will be wherever I am.  There was a man once who became upset with me since I was stopped in the middle of the isle.  I had tried to get out of his way, but there were a lot of boxes in the isle.   He was rather frustrated by my stopping and I know what he was thinking as I’m sure others under the same circumstance, “Why doesn't she just move over with that other hand?”  At least that is what his attitude suggested.  How often does my attitude falsely accuse someone without knowing the circumstances?  It's not my job to accuse peoples’ actions, that's God's place.  Mine is simply to love them and hopefully show them what life is truly about.

So where are we today?  Still one step at a time, however long it takes.  Sorry shoppers trying to get around me.  I'll try to stay out of your way as much as possible.  Heavenly Father, help me to be more understanding of other people's situations and be more understanding of their needs.  I probably have no idea how long it took them, just to get up today and get dressed, or how exhausting a simple trip to the store can be.  In the meantime, the outing is usually nice.  Thank you, Father, for another day today and for Your constant emotional/physical/spiritual provisions.  I pray my life does praise you today.

Now, if you all will excuse me.  There is a stop sign “calling me”.  I must go “answer that call”.

Follow-up on the walk:

Well, truth be told.  It didn’t go so well this morning.  I had my timer all set, I was going to come back to tell you how long it takes to get to the stop sign and back.  However, I think I might have been extra tired from my endeavors yesterday.  I was on the way home with horrible time on my timer.  When I got back, I tried to sit down and take a break, but my left foot gave out and to the floor I went.  The good thing is - no harm or bruises. Perhaps at least for now, the only bruise is my pride.  So, I’ll have to give you the distance and time in another entry.  In the meantime, however, I was able to help find a missing staple on the floor.  Make the most of any situation!  

Praise Him! again for His safety and for His strength.  We’ll try that walking thing again soon.  I’ll get back to you on that one!

62 A few thoughts after my previous blog entry: Life goes on - as do God’s blessings

Today’s entry is going to be a bit different.  Hang in there with me, but we need to lighten the mood from the last entry:

My dad has often said when he starts to preach, that people need to get their fast listening ears on. He has a lot to say and a short amount of time to say it.  I don't know how long I have to say some things. Only God knows that.  Only He knows the moment any of us will take that last breath. In the meantime, there are a few lessons I want to share with you.
So, let's get started. Put on your fast ears and quick reading eyes, because here we go:

 First, we really need to keep a sense of humor about us for as long as possible.

 So, let me tell you about something I call “diet candy”.

I have become a fan of tiny Tootsie Rolls. I enjoy their flavor. I also enjoy the fact that they have become what I call “diet candy”. They are painfully difficult sometimes to open with one hand. My mom often says, well, let me just open up a few for you. I said, “No!  Then they cease to be diet candy.”  They are diet candy when it takes a while to open just one - you don't eat very many at one time.

 Another thing I have learned is that peppermint settles an upset stomach.  So as the chemo messes with my stomach, I mess back at it with peppermint.  I hope you aren't getting tired of my candy wrappers making the crinkling sound around me at church, that is the reason for all the noise.

I've also learned a thing or two about people:
1. There are some who are very sensitive to the Holy Spirit
2. Others - not so much.
3. I hope and pray that I fall in that category of being sensitive to His leading and to the needs of others.

Hats can be hard to find sometimes. Especially, when you have so much stuff on your head to cover up, such as Optune wires.

A sense of humor is very important even if it is about yourself.

Ok, these are a few of my 5am thoughts this morning, I'll get back to you with more soon.
I'm the meantime smile today. This next breath will be God's gift to all of us.
Stay tuned for more information and lessons that I've been learning just one day at a time.  Keep your sense of humor.

Thoughts for today:
1. Love somebody today.   Surprise your family, friends and others around you with how you can smile, in the deepest of life's valleys.

2.    This is my verse for me today: This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it -  Psalm 118:24

So please pray for extra strength on a daily basis.

Regular Prayer request and praises continue as in the past:

**Next MRI and doctor visit March 15.

61 MEDICAL UPDATE (Feb 8) - His Strength is Still Perfect

The first section of this entry will only make sense to those of you who have been in this geographical area.  If not then skip ahead to the**. This won't make any sense if you are not familiar with the area. There is a road called highway 60 that we take for part of our trip to Tampa.  This road is always a thoughtful part of the trip for me.  It’s the road I took in the ambulance on my first trip to Tampa when this entire journey began.  On the way over there today, there were some traffic delays.  That particular route to Tampa can take you past a place called “Dinosaur World”. My mom said she was certain that one of the dinosaurs had gotten out of “Dinosaur World” and caused the traffic jam.  My suggestion - find the humor and enjoyment in life, where you can. The trip over had been relatively quiet and thoughtful until that comment.

If you're reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about, ignore this part and just move on to the two stars** below

  

** Here's where the seriousness continues:

UPDATE:

Thursday I walked into the clinic, with no yellow bracelet, surprising a lot of the staff.

Thursday was also my Dad’s birthday and while so many people were going on about me walking in, one nurse went down to the coffee shop and bought us all a muffin and juice to celebrate his birthday while we waited for the doctor.

I will, never, according to modern medicine and my doctors hear, ”Your cancer is in remission.”  I realize God is able to do anything.  He still baffles me and others around me and works miracles.  The fact I'm still here and on my own two feet is evidence that He is still able to do miraculous things.

However, the news was not what we were hoping to hear from the doctor:

There are more spots growing both where the first tumor was and also in some new places.  The doctor again said he did not really understand because normally people aren't doing as well as I am as the tumor begins growing again.  He was surprised as were so many others by my walking into the clinic for my visit today.

However, to check on things we are going to rescan next month and see where we stand.  The doctor also said there would be no more surgeries.  According to him there are now a number of different spots that make more surgeries difficult if not impossible.  The same goes for radiation. So back to Moffitt next month for another 

MRI and doctor visit to see if we need to do something different.  Until then I will continue with Optune and the chemo (both of them).

I'm still trusting God for His perfect will and strength to face each new day.

God is still good and in control of all that happens in my life.  I only hope and pray I give even just a portion back.  I know I can't meet up with even a small part of what He has done for me.  But I hope my life shows a little of His grace, mercy and love for me.

Thanks for your prayers today.  We all needed them and will need more in the days to come.

PRAISES:

Physical/emotional strength for each difficult day.

**Lessons God continues to bring my way about Himself, me, others around me and life in general.

My trips to the stop sign at the end of the road are still “Painfully” slow in many people’s eyes.  However, they are getting better, and I WILL continue to make them.

PRAYER REQUESTS: (I realize I keep posting the same requests, but they are still relevant/needed.  So, I’ll continue posting them, but I’ll try to add a marker if it’s something new.  No promises that I’ll remember to do that every time.)

Extra fatigue from medication and other changes in how my body responds to treatment and changes. 

So please pray for extra strength on a daily basis.

Continued strength to manage the physical strain of some of the treatment and exercises to improve mobility.

Courage to face the unknown and opportunities to show the grace of God through difficult times.

Safety.

Family who are hanging in there with me through this battle.

Wisdom to know my limitations and observe them.

Still working on paperwork for various devices to assist mobility as well as insurance matters.

**Next MRI and doctor visit March 15.

A few more thoughts from Friday morning – Where do we go from here?

One day at a time, looking up for strength and an ability to move ahead moment by moment. Hoping to make a difference in someone's life and make my Creator proud.   Will I get it right from here on out? No, but I will try with my hand held tightly in His.   So, from this point on don't judge my heart too seriously. You may catch me on a down day. Doesn’t mean I've stopped trusting in God. Just means my humanity got in the way and I'm having a hard day or moment. In the meantime, I will still laugh when my mom talks of dinosaurs causing traffic jams or I may continue calling myself "Flash" as I "speed" down the road to the stop sign.  Mostly, I pray my life means something to those around me.

Thanks for the prayers for Thursday, especially those praying for the walk into the clinic (that was important to me) and for safety there and back today and grace to hear the news. Yes, I walked in and walked out. God gives strength when we need it.

I'm telling you all this because the more people who know what's happening, the more they will pray and I and my family can certainly use the prayers. Here's a song for today the Lord brought it to my mind this morning as I contemplated getting out of bed.

If you see me out in the store, at church or anywhere. You just be you, I’ll just be me.  Nothing has changed if we start talking and tears come up, it’s OK, life is hard sometimes. But God is good, despite our imperfections and the hard times we face.

The previous verse and following Scripture was on my mind this morning was the previous song while I was contemplating getting up for the day God brought both of them to my mind this morning.

“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” - Psalm 62:8

60 His Mercy is More

I was thoroughly blessed in church this past week.  The entire service was such an encouragement.  Let me share a couple of thoughts with you.  If you want to hear a blessing, find Southside Baptist church on Facebook and watch the message.  Click here for the link.  You’ll be encouraged.  Anyway, here are a few thoughts that struck me from the service with a few of my own thoughts tagged on (First, read Psalm 25):

• “Explanations don't take away the pain, only the presence of God.”  It’s not about why did God allow this thing to happen in my life but how can I praise HIM through it all?
• “The only way out of a situation, is through it.”
• We don’t need explanations as to “WHY?”  We just need God’s presence.  (My words – “We can only experience that through a personal relationship with God.”)
• Don’t let God be missing in your life. My words - “He’s the only way I can face a new day or another MRI or in general any difficult day.” “He’s the only way I sit here today, typing this entry.”

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

Here’s a song from after the service: (His Mercy Is More by Matt Boswell)

 These thoughts blessed my heart this week as I look ahead to another scan and doctor visit to see where we stand now in this journey.

It’s not poor me. Look what’s wrong in my life.  It’s about, “How can I praise Him for all He has done and continues to do, no matter the journey ahead.”

PRAISES:

Starting to gain back more strength after several difficult days.

**Lessons God continues to bring my way about Himself, me, others around me and life in general.

My trips to the stop sign at the end of the road are still “Painfully” slow in many people’s eyes.  However, they are getting better, and I continue to make them.

A two-week break starting this week from the chemo.  That means a nice little break as we head to the next MRI.

PRAYER REQUESTS: (I realize I keep posting the same requests, but they are still relevant/needed.  So, I’ll continue posting them, but I’ll try to add a marker if it’s something new.  No promises that I’ll remember to do that every time.)

Extra fatigue from medication.  So please pray for extra strength on a daily basis.

Continued strength to manage the physical strain of some of the treatment and exercises to improve mobility.

Courage to face the unknown and opportunities to show the grace of God through difficult times.

Safety.

Family who are hanging in there with me through this battle.

Wisdom to know my limitations and observe them.

Still working on paperwork for various devices to assist mobility as well as insurance matters.

Next MRI and doctor visit Feb 8.

**I’ll get back to you on my trip to Moffitt with an update in my next entry.

God is still present, still good. He will help us through hard times.

59 WHY??

WHY??

Hang around kids long enough and that is what you will hear most often.  I imagine that is what God hears a lot from us.  Why my job, my health, my friendships, or other relationships, etc.

Well, I don't know why any of the things in my life have happened, but I know they have prepared me for what came next.

Learning how to respond to one incident in life helps me prepare for the next one.  Learning how to handle malaria helped me be better prepared for the next stomach virus, which helped me be ready for the next health issue.  Learning how to handle one relationship issue helped me handle the next one. I thought a malaria headache was tough, until I woke up from brain surgery with a drain coming out of my head.  Learning how the brain works through my post graduate studies in psychology has helped me understand more about what my own brain is doing. 

I also thought I knew what grace was all about, until I was told by doctors what my future, medically-speaking was going to involve.  I also thought I understood grace, until I needed it like I never had before.

Unfortunately, my days now often look alike.  I used to be at church on Sunday starting with Sunday School/Bible Study then morning worship followed by the evening service.  Monday started the work week at the high school.  Wednesday was Awana night at church with the kids.  Thursday began the count down to the weekend and all the jobs I needed to catch up on.  Now my days and weeks have changed a lot and its actually kind of difficult to keep up with either one. I currently find that the Sunday morning worship service is about all I can handle right now at church during the week. 

 It's also difficult to keep track of what I write in these posts.  So, I am just going to continue to share day by day what transpires in the life and times of Debbie Stamper and how God's grace is sufficient.  This takes me back to the beginning of this entry. 

 Why?

Well, I don't know why, but I know Who walks beside me today, tomorrow and the next day.  The first half of any verse I learned at a young age or even just yesterday might be just what I needed today.  The second half may be just what I need tomorrow. The point is that He Who began a good work in you or me, will keep working if we will just stay open to what He has for us.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: - Philippians 1:6

So why?  I don't know now, but I will one day.  Until then I just need to keep trusting Him and letting those verses flood back into my mind even if it is at 5am when this Optune machine is beeping at me about something.  Maybe God just wants to remind me of His work in my life. 

PRAISES:

Starting to gain back more strength after several difficult days.

Lessons God continues to bring my way about Himself, me, others around me and life 

in general.

My trips to the stop sign at the end of the road are still “Painfully” slow in many people’s eyes.  However, they are getting better, and I continue to make them.

PRAYER REQUESTS: (I realize I keep posting the same requests, but they are still relevant/needed.  So, I’ll continue posting them, but I’ll try to add a marker if it’s something new.  No promises that I’ll remember to do that every time.)

Extra fatigue from medication.  So please pray for extra strength on a daily basis.

Continued strength to manage the physical strain of some of the treatment and exercises to improve mobility.

Courage to face the unknown and opportunities to show the grace of God through difficult times.

Safety.

Family who are hanging in there with me through this battle.

Wisdom to know my limitations and observe them.

Still working on paperwork for various devices to assist mobility as well as insurance matters.

Next MRI and doctor visit Feb 8.

**Here is the reason behind the walking to the stop sign. Every time I’ve been to Moffitt, the walking has been an issue.  Moffitt is a large facility and it’s difficult to get around when you walk as slow as I do.  Anyways, every time I’ve gone in there, I have done so in a wheelchair.  That means getting a yellow band on my arm indicating that I’m in a wheelchair.  Well, I want to walk in for once (no armband).  This next visit, I have several places to go and just walking around from one place to the next, would take all day.  I’m going to go in there in a wheelchair, so we aren’t there all day, but then I’m going to remove the yellow arm band and walk into the doctor’s clinic area.  I really just want to go in there once without the yellow armband.  Once we get close enough I can make it down the hallway to the clinic area, we will “lose” the armband and wheelchair and I will walk the rest of the way to the clinic area. That will be a first.  Call me crazy.  It’s just another “because I can moments.”