#40 MEDICAL UPDATE FROM AUGUST 28, 2017 - TRUST HIS HEART

In the days leading up to my recent MRI and doctor’s visit Proverbs 3:5-6 has been coming to my mind as well as this particular song, the lyrics of which I have copied for you below.

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't
See how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see Him,
Remember you’re never alone.

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His Heart.

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hand,
So don't live as those who have no hope,
ALL our hope is found in Him.
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like Him.

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you.

When you can't trace His hand
When you don't see His plan
When you don't understand
Trust His Heart

This past Monday, I went to Tampa to have another scan and to see the doctor.  When I woke up Monday morning, I experienced a great amount of peace which I know came from God as a result of so many people praying.

When the physician's assistant walked in the door and sat down, the first thing she said was, “The scan looks good, the doctor will be in soon to explain and tell you all about it.”

I believe it was at that moment that the elephant that had been sitting on my shoulders, finally moved.

Both the physician's assistant and the doctor talked to me about how things have been going and how I was feeling.  They were both impressed at my current level of strength and improved mobility on my left side.

The scan revealed that the two spots on the left may have possibly grown.  However, the MRI report and the doctor both agree that this could be just a result of the radiation that was done last month. The whole section on the right from the original surgery, which I have now had three surgeries in the same place, looks great.  There is no indication that anything is growing in that area.  The doctor was content that we are on the right track but we'll re-evaluate in about 7 weeks to see what's happening with the other two spots.

The doctor once again admitted the fact that he really doesn't understand what is going on with my cancer.  He says it's not responding as he would have expected: it's not growing as fast, the last surgery I had revealed that what was there was mostly dead already, the rate at which this particular cancer is growing is much slower than normal. I believe the doctor is baffled.   He told me the first day we met that he was a man of science, not faith, I believe he may be seeing more evidence of what God can do.

There is another therapy out there that has proven itself successful with this particular type of cancer in a lot of patients. My doctor would like to give it a try. So, as soon as we can get everything set up I will start it as well. This is the one that I had mentioned previously about coming from a sci-fi movie.  It is a cap that I will wear on my head, called Optune.

Once again, God has provided in an amazing way. This particular therapy is quite expensive and most insurance companies will not agree to pay for it.  Mine has refused as well.  However, the company that supplies the device has agreed to work with me on this and the most that I will have to pay his $50 a month.  This particular device generally cost $20,000 a month. There are several other things that God has provided in the last few weeks, but that would take several more pages to explain.  I’ll work on mentioning them in later posts.  For now, let me just say, God is amazing and I am humbled by all the people who are faithfully praying for me and that is a real encouragement.

In the meantime, between now and the next scan, I will continue with the chemotherapy that I have already been doing.

So, after hearing all of the good news, on the way home we stopped to celebrate again with frozen yogurt.  This has become a tradition that we intend to keep for a long time.

Prayer Requests:

Strength and continued good health as this double chemo makes me really tired and lowers my immunity.   Thankfully, the second chemo is only taken Monday – Wednesday which makes the rest of the week better.

October 26th (starting at 9:30 – in Tampa) MRI, lab work and follow-up visit with the doctor to see how the treatments are working and where we stand.

Continued therapy on my own to improve strength and mobility on my left side.

Strength for family as they are my support group, encouragers and care givers, particularly my parents. I am so thankful for the family and friends God has blessed me with.

#39 DEEP VALLEYS AND MAJESTIC MOUNTAINS (AUGUST 19, 2017)

I have to make a confession. As this next MRI gets closer (August 28^th), I find my anxiety level rising. I know God is in control, yet my humanity leads me to wonder what the report is going to show and where that will take me from here.  Then God reminds me, Oh, ye of little faith.

However, yesterday, God gave me several reminders through Scripture reading and other reading and I would like to share a few of those things with you.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: (Philippians1:6)

I do not know nor understand why God has allowed this journey to be a part of my life, and I may never know.  However, I know He has a purpose.

“God is making you braver, stronger, purer, more peaceful, more loving, less selfish—the kind of person you’ve perhaps always wanted to be”. – Quoted from Our Daily Bread

“There is never a majestic mountain without a deep valley.” – Daniel Crawford

I am certainly thankful for the mountains that I have seen the last few days/weeks. God has answered prayers for me by returning some of the lost mobility on my left side. Now what I'm talking about is extremely small amounts of progress. However, when you start with nothing, even the tiniest of improvements seem like huge successes. So now I have set another goal (mountain top) that may even require frozen yogurt in celebration, but be patient.  This might take a while. I will update the blog when we get there.  Stay tuned for a celebratory entry.  The day I can put my dog, Sophie’s, collar on will be another mountain top.  We tried that today and she was unbelievably patient with me, but we haven’t made it YET.

I still get tired and didn’t get to keep my new hairstyle for long (though I did enjoy one Sunday with hair and no hat on – it was fun while it lasted).

My “Thanksgiving Basket” is starting to fill up. How about yours? If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go back and read #37 One year anniversary (August 7, 2017).  And if you have no idea what I’m talking about with the hair comment go back and read #35 MEDICAL UPDATE FROM JULY 28TH, 2017.

God is great, and loves me despite me and my failures.

#999 – RECAP OF MY JOURNEY UP TO NOW – IF YOU’RE NEW TO THIS BLOG, START HERE:

For those of you who are new to this blog, going back and reading all of these entries at one time to get caught up can be a little overwhelming. While I do encourage you to go back and catch up when you can, here is a good place for you to get started.  This will not give you all of the details. It will be a brief overview of the events that have taken place in my life over the last year.

On August 7th 2016, while I was getting ready to leave for church, I was taking one last look in the mirror to make sure that everything was in order. While standing there looking in the mirror, I reached up with my left hand to try and straighten my sleeve on my right arm, and my left hand wouldn't work.  I also noticed that the left side of my face was drooping a little bit and other parts of the left side of my body were not exactly working right. I really thought I was having a stroke at the time.   So, I called my parents and told them what was going on.  They immediately headed to my house and took me to the emergency room.

For about 2 weeks before this day, I had noticed that my eyesight was not what it had been. In fact, I had gone for an eye exam and was told by the doctor that I simply needed to remember my eyes were not as young as they used to be and that it was time for glasses. When I received the glasses, they seemed like they weren't quite what they should be, and I had already decided I was going to take them back to see if the prescription was correct. For about 4 days before the above-mentioned day, I had started having headaches, my left knee had given out on me a couple of times and I had noticed that when I would walk down the street with my dog I tended to veer off to the left a little bit. For two days before the above-mentioned date, I had noticed that my voice had gotten a little bit weak and hoarse.  With all these things starting to come together and a little bit of tingling in my left hand, I had talked to my chiropractor about the possibility of a pinched nerve. When I explained the different issues, he immediately said that I needed to see my primary doctor and have it checked out, this was not something that he would treat me for. So, I had come over to my parents’ house on Saturday, the day before the above-mentioned date, explained to them all that I have just explained to you. They both had doctor's appointments with the same doctor that I would have gone to and immediately told me to take one of their appointments on the following Monday. However, we didn't get that far.

So, when I arrived at the emergency room on Sunday, the doctors and nurses immediately began running tests.  Before long a doctor was in the room telling me that I needed some specialized imaging that was unavailable here in Sebring, as well as a specialist.  At that time, he said that there was something on my brain. I asked him if it was a tumor and he said “no”. He said it just looked like some kind of spot, possibly a cyst or blood, which had a lot of fluid around it and needed to be dealt with immediately, but that he did not think it was a tumor. So, they called for an ambulance to transfer me to Tampa and it wasn't long until I was in the ambulance on my way to the hospital there.

Once I arrived in Tampa, things began to move very quickly as they ran tests and did scans.  It was not much longer until a surgeon was in my room telling me that I needed surgery right away and that she was ready to do so the following morning.  At that time, they still didn't know what was going on but that whatever was on my brain needed to be dealt with soon. The next morning, I went in for surgery and while I was in recovery, my family was told that I had a very aggressive form of brain cancer called a glioblastoma. They were also told at that time that had I not had surgery when I did, I probably would have only had another 2 weeks.

I spent several days in the hospital, and when I was discharged, I came home to start therapy which would help me regain some lost mobility on my left side.

After I came home, I began the typical six and a half weeks of radiation together with chemotherapy. I was also started on regular monitoring of lab work and periodic MRIs.

in December, while most of my mobility had returned, I once again went back to the hospital for a few days with the chicken pox. Yes, that is correct.  Chicken pox at 40.  Not something that I would recommend. However, something that has given a lot of people reason to smile and even a few people to laugh, including myself (now, but not at the time).

Later on, in December, another MRI showed progression of the disease and it was recommended to me that I have another surgery to remove what was there.

On January 13th, with the understanding that this time I could have significant loss of mobility on my left side, I had a second surgery. This time I woke up unable to move anything on my left side. However, with the help of therapists at an acute rehab facility in Tampa, I was able to regain some of the movement. They were able to help me get on my feet and take a few steps, teaching me how to walk again and do things with the use of only my right arm.

Right before Easter Sunday, I had another MRI and at that point everything looked good. However, my oncologist here in Sebring thought it would be a good idea for me to go ahead and get another opinion. He referred me to Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. I also spoke to him about going to Duke University in North Carolina, He thought that was also a good idea.  What would have normally taken a couple of weeks to get an appointment at Moffitt, ended up taking only a couple of days, because once again God intervened. So, right before Easter Sunday I had my first visit at Moffitt.

The following Monday, I met with doctors at Duke University. I showed them the MRI and they said it looked like everything we were doing was working and to just keep doing the same thing and if I needed them, I could come back.

However, I decided that if they weren't going to do anything different, and thought we were doing everything right, then there was no need to go so far away.

It was only about a month later, when I went in for another MRI and visit with the doctor at Moffitt, that he told me the tumor had returned and would require immediate attention.  Within a week I had an appointment with a surgeon who told me there was a likelihood of permanent loss of mobility on my left side.  He would only go ahead with the surgery if I was okay with that. I asked him what would happen if I did not have the surgery. He told me I would have about 4 to 6 months.  I told him then there is no question - “When do we start surgery?”

Ten days later, I had surgery at Moffitt Cancer Center.  I only spent a short time there.  My mobility did not change significantly. However, I certainly came out of surgery weaker than before I went in.  A lot of testing was done on what the surgeon removed.

The following week I met with the doctor that is overseeing my care at Moffitt.  He informed me of a few of things that they found out with the testing they did.  First, most of what was removed was simply dead cells and what little bit that was still growing, was growing very slowly. He explained it this way. Glioblastomas typically grow like wildfire. He said if you look at it like a speedometer in a car, most of the time they are running along at about 50 to 80 miles per hour.  Mine was growing at about 1 mile per hour.  One more bit of information he had, was that this glioblastoma had mutated. This meant that the DNA makeup of these cancer cells now has the same DNA makeup as breast cancer.  He said this was a good thing because there is medicine to treat that particular type of cancer and he felt we could be more successful in treating it based on its DNA makeup with a new type of chemotherapy.

He also felt that since the surgeon found a couple of other spots while he was doing the surgery that radiation would be in my best interest.

So, a month later, which takes us now to the middle of July. I began a 5-day radiation treatment. This was a specialized radiation, some of which was actually called radiation surgery.  At the same time, I began two different types of chemotherapy, the first one I had taken back in August during my first radiation, the second one was the new one based on the DNA testing from the last surgery.

Since that last surgery I have continued with some therapy. Unfortunately, my insurance has run out on therapy and will not cover any more. However, the therapists have been great at showing me things I can do at home to continue improving my mobility and strength on my left side.

My left hand is still very slow and weak and doesn't work properly.  My left leg does allow me to walk.  However, it takes a very long time to get from point A to point B.

Next up will be an MRI and visit with the doctor on August 28.

This has been and continues to be a hard journey, BUT God’s grace is truly amazing and His strength gets me from one day to the next.

As I read this verse this week, I was reminded of a trip my parents and I took together a few years ago through the United Kingdom.  My Dad has done a lot of family research and found out that some of my ancestors came from Scotland.  So, we decided to take a little excursion together through Scotland on the way back to the United States from Kenya.  We rented a car and drove from London to a small town in Scotland.  Once we got there, we were trying to find a place called “Lag Castle” or “Lag Tower”, the home place of my ancestors in the 1500s.  (Yes, I do apparently come from some sort of royalty).  All we had were GPS coordinates.  We ended up out in a cow pasture, driving a low-to-the-ground Prius.  However, we finally found it, at least what was left, climbed the stone wall around the tower and took several pictures.  The place has since had some restoration work done.  At the time we were there, however, it was falling down and looked rather unsteady. I am so glad I don’t have to worry that my God will get weak and tired and fall apart like this tower but remains my refuge and strength and I can ALWAYS TRUST IN HIM.  

And I do still come from royalty because I am a child of the KING!

Lag tower (what is left of a larger castle) - 2009

#38 My grace is sufficient (August 13, 2017):

Today's entry is not about any type of medical update or any other information about what has been going on recently related to my health issues. At the end, I will share with you a couple of prayer requests. However, for right now I simply would like to share with you a few things that are on my heart today. This entry is not meant to be about me. I simply want you to see how God's grace is truly sufficient and is the only way sometimes that gives me strength in the mornings to get up. I have said before that I cannot imagine traveling this journey without the grace of God.

As I have mentioned before and many of you already know who know me well, playing the piano has been a very important part of my life for many years. Often times when I have been discouraged or anxious about something I would go to the piano and just play whatever was on my heart at the time. It became a time for me to not only talk to the Lord but for HIM to speak to my heart as well.

I also have played the piano at my church.  This video clip that follows was something I played when I was in college during my senior recital. I had been working on this last summer again to simply freshen it up (college was a while ago). This would likely have been one of the next songs I would have played as an offertory/special. It has now been over a year since I have played the piano.  Unless God chooses to work another miracle, which HE has and is still doing on a regular basis, my piano playing is likely not going to happen again on this Earth. However, I imagine one day that God will have a special room in heaven with a beautiful grand piano at which I will sit down and play like I have never played before.  Perhaps this will be one of the first songs I play.

Today was such an encouraging time to be in God's house. HE used the time to remind me of a few things. We started the service out with the following song, the words of which I find very encouraging and very appropriate for this journey that I am walking and perhaps for a journey you may be walking as well.

Through It All

I've had many tears and sorrows,

I've had questions for tomorrow,

There've been times

I didn't know right from wrong:

But in every situation

God gave blessed consolation

That my trials come

To only make me strong.

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I've been to lots of places,

And I've seen a lot of faces,

There've been times I felt so all alone;

But in my lonely hours,

Yes, those precious lonely hours,

Jesus let me know that I was His own.

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I thank God for the mountains,

And I thank Him for the valleys,

I thank Him for the storms

He brought me through;

For if I'd never had a problem

I wouldn't know

That He could solve them,

I'd never know what faith

In God could do.

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

God certainly has used this experience to draw me closer to HIM and remind me to rely more on HIM, to find my strength in HIM, to not be quite so wrapped up in myself, to put my trust in HIM, to be thankful for what I have, the list can go on and on and on but I'll stop with that for now.

All of that is certainly not to say that I have learned all that I need to learn, or become what HE wants me to be. I am certain there is more that HE still wants to teach me; more that I still need to learn.

Thank You, Father, for your grace and strength for each new day and some encouragement from YOUR Word today!!

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Prayer Requests:

1. Strength as this double chemo makes me really tired.   Thankfully, the second chemo is only taken Monday – Wednesday which makes the rest of the week better.
2. August 28th (starting at 9:45 – in Tampa) MRI, lab work and follow-up visit with the doctor to see how the treatments are working and where we stand at this point.
3. A possibility of a new device that MAY help me walk better, but there will be insurance issues to deal with.  However, God has worked beyond insurance already with other issues.
4. Continued work at home to do therapy shown to me by the physical and occupational therapists to improve my left side mobility and strength.
5. Please pray for Kenya and the violence that has broken out through protests over election results.
6. My family as they do so much for me.  They are my support system and do a lot physically for me.

#37 ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY (AUGUST 7, 2017):

Several years ago, I was at a ladies meeting and challenged by a missionary friend of mine, Renee, to keep something called a Thanksgiving basket.  The idea is that you start at the beginning of the year, writing down blessings you have received and other things that you're thankful for on a piece of paper and put them into the basket. Then at the end of the year you can go back and see all the things that God has done for you during that past year.

Had I started that at the beginning of this journey, my basket would be overflowing. So here is what I intend to do.  Today marks the one-year anniversary of when this journey with brain cancer began. There have been times through this past year that doctors have indicated I possibly wouldn't be here today. However, God has had other plans. So, as I celebrate this one-year anniversary today, I am also going to start my Thanksgiving basket. Keep watching this blog because God-willing, I plan in another year to have my 2-year anniversary at which time I will be able to share with you some of the blessings that I have put in my Thanksgiving basket. I encourage you to do the same. You will be encouraged as you go back and see all of the things that God has done for you during the past year.  It’s a great way to be reminded of all that God does for us.

Mungu mtukufu aliye Bwana (To God be the glory)

“. . . and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” - Malachi 3:10

#36 A blessing from many friends:

As you enter the facilities of my church here in Sebring, Southside Baptist Church, it doesn't take long for you to find somewhere written the following words - Know Christ, Grow in Christ, Show the love of Christ. I have found through this past year, that last part is something that my church does quite well. They have prayed for me, supported me, encouraged me and they prayerfully walk this road with me. I am so thankful that God led me to this church, this community of believers, who love Christ. Once again, they have shown the love of Christ to me by providing a huge blessing. A group of ladies from my Sunday school class decided it would be a good idea to bless me with a special gift. They came together and raised money to pay the traveling expenses for my best friend from college to come out for a visit from New Mexico.

Jodee Mitchell, who when I met was Jodee Thorp, was a classmate and very good friend of mine during my time at Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. Jodee lived across the hall from me our freshman year. It didn't take long until we became good friends, a friendship that has lasted a long time. During our years at college, we also were roommates part of the time but more than that we were good friends. Jodee even came to Kenya a couple of times after I had graduated from college and had gone back as a missionary. She visited and worked with me in some projects in the churches there.  She also honored me by asking me to be her maid of honor in her wedding at which time she became Jodee Mitchell. Jodee and Aaron (her husband) and their daughter, Kinli, now live just outside Albuquerque, New Mexico in a place called Rio Rancho. Aaron started and currently pastors a church there, City of Vision Baptist Church, where they have taken on a fantastic ministry for the Lord.

Jodee’s family has also been a huge blessing to me. During the time that I was in college, it was a long distance to my nearest family. My parents were in Africa, my brother who was in the America was all the way on the east coast, too far to go for a short visit. During one Easter vacation, with really no other place to go, I stayed on campus in a very quiet and lonely dorm room and I promised myself I would never do that again. I was miserable.  For the rest of my time at college, Jodee’s parents invited me to their house every Thanksgiving and treated me as if I were one of their own daughters. I have been truly blessed by the Thorp family and by my friendship with Jodee.

So, this past week, Jodee came out from New Mexico during a very busy time for her, as she is a school teacher and school is about ready to start again.

We caught up on life, laughed about things from our past, laughed about things from our present, and just simply had a great time together. There are some friends that when you’ve been apart for a long time and get back together again, you don’t have to spend time reacquainting yourselves again.  You just pick back up where you left off the last time.  Jodee is one of those friends.

Thank you again to those who contributed to providing a fantastic week for me to visit with a good friend. 

Thank you, Jodee, for taking time out of your busy schedule to encourage a friend.

Jodee and I in one of our more serious moments last year during my visit with her in New Mexico.